I have been struggling with something. I have been struggling to keep the balance of being a loving,compassionate woman YET also being a self-dependent, values keeping, equality-based feminist, powerful, self-realized black woman. And I’m sure many other women go through this same struggle.
For me, trying to balance the give and take of power, whilst staying true to myself has been a journey upon which I am still travelling. Constantly learning and growing as my consciousness expands.
I was prompted to ‘up’ my strong, powerful action to affirm that I am a strong, powerful and self-realized woman after reading this inspirational and soul-invoking article, For Women: The False Seduction Of Giving Up Power.
The author, Danielle M. states that:
” Women are often told to let a “man be a man.” Sure, if that allows room for me to be a woman. Room for us to both be self-actualized humans and not one of us to be an object or chattel property.
Women can’t be scared of their power. They can’t let the message that intelligent and independent women are punished prevent them for exercising these gifts. Because while it is true that anti-patriarchal women are sanctioned in any patriarchal society the costs are always way higher for mindlessly following along. “
Taking action to continue to grow and expand my power would be easy if I lived in a society that is focused on equality and appreciation for the true feminine. Unfortunately, that is not the world we live in. We live in a man-dominated, patriarchal world where the woman is barely heard unless she steps out, stands out and raises her fist to the sky screaming ‘NO MORE’, to which she is greeted by bewildered stares of the patriarchal seduced women and intimidated egos of men.
Why must it be this way?
Why can’t I be free to say and do what it is that I feel, and wear what I want – all without those bewildered stares and chauvinistic smirks. Actually, there is nothing stopping me – I just risk being called a bitch, a hard ass, an old hag, and ‘one of those women who can’t have/keep a man’. Is this the fate of the strong, beautiful and powerful woman? I beg to differ.
I have always felt more comfortable around the boys, for one reason or another. But as I grew up and even now, being that most of my co-workers are male, I realize that there is a constant compromise that I unendingly endure. The compromise of being myself and ‘being nice’, that is, sparing the male ego. But why should I? And they rarely think twice about sparing mine..
They say what they want, when they want… so why shouldn’t I. So, I do. I stopped ‘being nice’ and start being truthful. Not just to them, but to myself. I do what I want, when I want, and most times say what I want – I’m growing in confidence in that last one :). The difference between me and them is that I do my best to speak and act from a place of love and compassion, whilst allowing that strong, beautiful and powerful woman to shine.
You know, it’s easier to sit, smile and stay silent but it’s not worth it. Not worth the constant trodding upon your true essence by others, not worth that feeling of dis-empowerment when you don’t say what you mean and bite back the words. So let’s step into our true essence by speaking up, being true to ourselves, saying ‘no’ and ‘that’s enough’. We can take a stand, not because we are against men but because we are for ourselves, and we want our daughters to be able to express themselves freely whenever they want, however they choose to do it. So if you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for our future generations.